I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
