That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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