haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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