youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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