You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
