covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
how drunk are you?
Several
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize