don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
