Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
