why didn't you poke me back
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize