Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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