rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
