Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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