i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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