a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
