take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
