You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
