nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
