The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
