Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
