you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize