Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
