just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
