Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize