am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
