I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
