quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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