I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
whose parrot is this?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
