Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
