I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
