Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
