so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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