dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize