Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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