i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize