Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
