I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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