Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
