A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
