Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
