We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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