I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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