Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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