Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
