Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize