she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize