I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
