PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
