is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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