Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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