K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
