I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize