Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
