You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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