so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
