she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
