It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
