Its about making memories worth repressing
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
