winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
