STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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