you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
