I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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