Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
