So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
