Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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