why didn't you poke me back
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
