Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i will never coherently bang her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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