The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
