No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
