Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
