Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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