Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
