even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
