So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
