you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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