I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
