You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
