He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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