It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
