Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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