If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize