Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
